5 THINGS TO CONSIDER:
In May my youngest daughter, Emily, had a beautiful vintage-inspired wedding. It was lovely, and reflected so much about Emily herself. Having access to vintage clothing allowed her to create one of the most memorable events our family has been a part of. Although I have been in charge of wardrobe for countless staged events, while helping her, I learned so much about how to put together a wedding that comes from the heart. Since I have had several customers through the years that were interested in using vintage clothing in their weddings, Emily and I agreed to share some of the things to consider as you decide whether or not to use vintage as a theme for your wedding.1.YOUR DRESS:
Choose your dress first.
Choose it for love.
Choose it for style.
Choose it because your heart tells you to.
The beautiful thing about vintage is that dresses are not cookie cutter duplicates of each other. Not everyone wants or looks good in strapless, for instance. One problem many women have is that, when nervous, the neck area splotches. If you know this may happen, for heaven's sake, don't go with strapless! But have you tried to find a wedding dress that's not strapless lately? With vintage, you have so many more choices!
Another great thing is cost. A really great vintage wedding gown can be bought for less than a prom dress at a retail store.
FINDING YOUR DREAM DRESS: WHERE TO LOOK
VINTAGE CLOTHING STORES: A good vintage store in the neighborhood is a wonderful thing. You can try it on, for goodness' sake! But for most of us, that's a luxury. And even if there is one, they may not have a bridal section. If they do happen to have a dress that fits, usually they are ready to wear (repairs and cleaning is already done), so its certainly a good place to shop.
THRIFT STORES: Many thrift stores have begun to carry bridal sections. I don't particuarly consider them thrifty, however. Most are right around $100. It sounds like a reasonable price until you consider that the dress will have to be cleaned ($80-100) and then alterations $60-100. If the dress has just been cleaned , fits like a glove and has no odors, tears or spots, it is probably a good deal at $100.00 It is an advantage to be able to try the dress on.
ONLINE:
You can, of course, buy online. There are some drawbacks to buying online, however. But don't be afraid of it--the whole future of the fashion industry will be online. Just be savy and know what you are doing. Here are some suggestions about buying online:
ONLINE AUCTION SITES:
Read the auction listing very carefully, and don't let your love of the dress over-rule common sense. If they disclose a stain, it means there is a STAIN, and it will bother you unless you know for sure you are going to cut off that part of the dress. Wedding dresses are hard to clean and expensive to do so. For my money, an obvious stain in a wedding dress is a deal breaker. If the listing says there is a stain on the underarms, DON'T BUY IT!. That stain won't come out no matter what. Many times sellers will say, "theres a stain...but I'm sure it will come out." Don't believe it. If it bothers you in the photo, it will bother you at home. And theres no guarantee that trying to get the stain out won't make it worse.
If there is no photo of the flaw, skip that dress or ask for a better photo. Some unreputable sellers intentionally have out of focus photos. They are relying on your wish that it be perfect. If it says that there are no flaws and you find some, you can demand a refund, but its a hassel you don't need. Just be sure of what you are buying before you buy.
On the other hand, if it says there are some small mends in the fullness of the skirt--it probably won't be a problem. Ask for photos if there aren't any. Reputable dealers won't mind at all. Ask your alteration person (you will need one) before you buy to read the listing. They can help you decide if its worth it or not.
ONLINE VINTAGE STORES
There are several good reasons to choose from a Vintage store online if you can instead of an auction. Stores generally have rating and condition standards, good measurements and (best of all) a return policy, in case the dress really won't work. Their reputation is important to them and they are usually careful to disclose every flaw.
The biggest plus for the vintage online store vs. the auction is that the items can be returned if they are returned promptly. (Be sure about the time limit on the return, though. Vintage stores generally want returns made quickly.) But you actually can send it back if its not mendable or cleanable, unlike with auctions, and you are only out the postage and not the entire purchase price.
STILL, if you really love a dress in an auction, and its not too pricey, go ahead and take a small risk. But do remember that an auction is "as described" and "final sale". You could resell it at auction if you had to. Sometimes when you fall in love with a dress, it just needs to be that dress!
KNOW YOUR BEST STYLES: Because not every style looks good on every body shape, its a good idea to be fairly sure about the general style that looks great on you before you order .If you are planning to buy online, I would suggest that you go try on some styles in a bridal store to see what generally looks good on you. You don't want too big of a surprise when the dress is delivered.
MEASURE MEASURE MEASURE: Don't even think of buying anything you haven't had on your body unless you have good measurements for yourself. Vintage sizes just don't correlate to ours. and also know your measurements! Vintage sizing is nothing like ours and you could end up with a dress two sizes too small.
You have to go by measurements. Measure yourself and measure a dress you own that is a similar style to the one you are looking at. Measure it flat across the front at bust level, then double it. Do the same at waist level (natural waistline--bellybutton area) and hip level (9 inches below your natural waist). Hold the tape loosely. You don't want to have to hold in your stomach for 5 hours.
An underarm to waist measurement will prevent buying a short-waisted dress
A waist to hem (front) measurement will prevent buying a dress that has been custom made for a short person and having the hem at your ankle.
Sleeve length (straight arm from the shoulder) will tell you if the dress that is being sold as long sleeved is really a 3/4 length.
Then, if you find the dress you are looking for--buy it!
Buy it--then find a way to make it yours.
If that means making it short, then do that. If that means using the veil that comes with it for a shawl because its chilly on your wedding day, do that. Just find a way to feel like this is your dress! Don't be afraid to mix things up a bit. Don't like the pearls? Take them off. Don't want a bustle? Remove it. This is your dress for your day! (Of course, unless your mom can do it for you, you will need to find a good alteration person that you trust and who will listen to you!). Emily cut most of the train off of her dress, and loosened the 3/4 length sleeve, among other things. Her wedding was outdoors and she wanted ease in movement and no grass stains!
2. BRIDESMAIDS ATTIRE: the elements you are working with are :
----------the style of the dresses (which includes length and sleeve length)
----------the color of the dresses
----------the fabric of the dresses
Choose to make some elements alike and some elements different.
The "different" element is what makes a vintage wedding so charming and interesting. The "alike" elements tie them all together.
For instance, vintage chiffon dresses (same fabric) in the same general style and length in different colors would look like a lovely bouquet at an outdoor wedding (or one where there is a raised area where they would be viewed as a whole when together). I've seen this work beautifully on stage. Emily chose the elements of style and color being rather alike, and fabrics being different.
SHOES: Shoes are nicer if they are more alike than different. You might ask your bridesmaids to wear "metal toned strappy heels" or "Mary Janes with a little heel" , or just ask for flats matching their dress color. (I vote for the metal tones. Most vintage dresses of the dressier sort were worn with fabric shoes or dyed to match. With metal toned strappy heels, you can get away with leather if need be). And ask that the shoes be the same general height. It doesn't look as nice to have flats and spiked heels standing together as having all flats or mid-high heels, for instance. They need not be exactly the same, but a general height uniformity looks nicer.
HAIR: Emily had a wonderful friend who is a hairdresser who styled the bridesmaid's hair in the general period of the dresses that she chose. This was a great unifying element.
It would be nice to have one hair salon that you frequent and just go ahead and get appointments for your wedding party the day of the wedding. Or choose a hairstyle that is complementary to your dress style and hand out photos to your bridesmaids, asking them to "do something along this line". Another thing you can do, is ask that the women all wear their hair up. That gives the unity you want and yet gives them a little personal lee-way. (Virtually every period of time allows for an up-do. )
Remember that you are not putting on a play where every element needs to match. You are simply borrowing from this time and that, elements that are pleasing. For instance, you don't need to require pearls of everyone if your dresses are mostly from the fifties. They can wear their own jewelry if they want to. Or choose a mixture of vintage and modern. (Emily chose vintage earrings that complemented the dresses, but let them wear whatever they wanted otherwise).
3. GROOM: Men are just easier to dress. Let's admit it. Most formal wear is based on vintage fashion anyway, so tails or dinner jackets or morning coats fit pretty much any vintage era. As with the bride, choose something the groom is comfortable in. He'll have a long wedding day or night also. Have him match the groomsmen in style, but not necessarily exactly. The groom does need to have a jacket or suit or formal wear with a jacket if possible.
4. GROOMSMEN'S ATTIRE: The groomsmen can be slightly less dressed up than the groom , especially if your wedding is more informal. They can go with vintage-look vests which can be made or rented inexpensively. I would go with the same rule as the bridesmaids when it comes to vests: something alike and something different. The "alike" pieces should be, in this case, style and general color. The fabrics could be different, and perhaps the best man could be a different color. I would match pants in both style and color. Shirts should be dressy and match in color (preferably close to the color of the brides dress). Match color of all shoes, and even with an informal wedding, dress shoes, please, for all the men. (That means leather soles. Nobody wants Adidas at their wedding). If you want jackets for all, then the styles and general colors should be alike. The vintage ties can match their bridesmaid mates!
5. THE RECEPTION: Now, (and this is the fun part), this is the time to make your mom and your grandmother as happy as clams. Use their antiques. Use their china and linens and glass, and, if you have the energy for polishing it yourself if necessary, their silver. This is something they have looked forward to since you were a just a little thing. Let them enjoy it to their hearts content!
VINTAGE ELEMENTS: If you don't have these vintage elements, they can be rented at most wedding rental stores. If you have a caterer, they should have these items for your use. Or, if your reception is less formal, vintage look-alikes can be bought at party stores including paper plates that look like china, paper napkins that look like linen, "silver" plastic spoons and forks, and plastic "glass-look" trays, serving pieces, and punchbowls. There are also thrift stores that sell glass-wear cheaply if you want to acquire it.
FLOWERS: You can go crazy here and just fill the place with flowers. You can go traditional with roses, but its really fun to underscore the vintage theme with flowers that are thought of as more vintagy. (If thats a word!) Daisies, gladiolas, lilac, even pansies in small groupings on the table bring out the vintage feeling you are trying to create. Look at vintage scrap-booking sites for some inspiration.
A vintage wedding can be really beautiful, a real bonding experience with other generations in your family and you can relax, because its also really fun!
